Happy Talky People Talk.

So, I had the WONDERFUL opportunity to speak in church last week, and I thought that you all would totally benefit from my intellect, wit, and research. So, here it is! The topic: Self Mastery. Enjoy. :)

Good afternoon. My name is Kelsey Reynolds, and I know for a fact that you should be careful what you ask for! I asked the bishop if he knew of any good books or talks regarding the subject of “Self Mastery”. He smiled at me and said “interesting that you should ask… would you like to give a talk on that subject?” I was sort-of hoping that he would just point me towards some existing materials that I could just study instead of asking me to add to the collection, but that isn’t the Bishops way! Hopefully I can meet the Bishop’s expectations and share with you what I’ve learned about the subject!

I’m a “who, when, where, what, why, and how” kinda gal. So, I would like to walk through the 5 W’s (and H) of Self-Mastery.

The “Who”, “When”, and “Where” are pretty easy to identify: every single person should be striving towards greater self-mastery at all times, in all things, and in all places.

I really want to spend most of my time talking about the “What”, the “Why”, and the “How”.

What:

James E. Faust told the men of our church in a priesthood conference that “self-mastery is the ultimate test of our character” and identified it as “doing those things we should do and not doing those things we should not do.” According to the priesthood manual “self-mastery is the power within us to control our desires and actions.” Yes, it is a tall order. But, this is our opportunity to learn how to put our mind over matter, our spirit over our body.

Why:

We know that there are several reasons why we are here, and one of these is to prove ourselves by overcoming the natural man and drawing closer to our Savior and Father in Heaven.

James E. Faust used this example to explain why we need to gain self-mastery: Arabian horses are highly trained for use in some important tasks. As a result, they are trained to listen to the guidance of their masters. As a final test to deem how obedient they are, at the end of their training the horses are locked in a paddock close to water, but no water is available to them to drink. The master waits until the horses are extremely thirsty and then open the paddock gate. As the horses race towards the water, the master blows his whistle. The horses that immediately turn back to their master, despite their intense thirst, are used for the most important tasks for they have proved their obedience and ability to overcome their physical needs to do what the Master asks. Those that drank the water first are used for less important tasks.


According to the priesthood manual, the power to control our desires and actions is necessary to return to live with our Heavenly Father. It allows us to take control of our lives and be better prepared to make correct decisions when faced with trials. This life isn’t meant to be easy and for us just to coast along. Often, in this time in our life, we have a tendency to be a little selfish and keep our eyes focused on what we want. However, developing self-mastery requires that we look outside of ourselves and follow the promptings of the spirit, which usually contradict what our natural man is interested in pursuing. However, by making these “sacrifices” we learn that we aren’t making sacrifices at all, and the rewards of greater knowledge and light are worth any of the worldly things we’ve given up. We become better, stronger people, and are more able to do the work our Savior and Heavenly Father want us to accomplish.

How:

As with anything, the “how” part is certainly the toughest. As I have pondered what I was going to say in this talk for over a month, I have thought several times about examples of self-mastery that I have seen in my life.

The first two examples I thought about are people who run marathons or compete in similar physical races. I spoke to Scott Kunz in our ward. For those of you that don’t know him, he’s a maniac. He has run many marathons, and at least one 100 mile race. I can’t imagine a circumstance where you need your mental power to push you past physical discomforts more than in a 100 mile race. Scott mentioned that during these races, he spends his time setting small goals like: make it to the next rest station, make it to the next mile marker. By setting these small goals, he steadily works towards his primary objective: reach the finish line.

My best friend from college has also run several marathons. Her first marathon she trained well for… Over several months, she read books, and physically readied herself for the race. However, she didn’t prepare as well for the second marathon, so as the race drew near, she knew that she would need some mental power to get her through the 26 mile marathon. So, she wrote a list of 26 things or people in her life that she was grateful for. She then dedicated each mile of the race to one of those people or things. As she ran, thinking of the love and gratitude she has for each person or thing on the list overwhelmed her and helped her to push through the difficult physical strain of the race.

Another example that my thoughts turned to are a group of people that are close to my heart. I do some volunteer work with the American Cancer Society, planning an event called the Relay for Life. It is an all night team relay event that celebrates cancer survivors, remembers people we’ve lost to cancer, and then fights to stop cancer. Thinking about self-mastery, I couldn’t help but think of the cancer survivors that I have come across because of my involvement with the Relay. These people all had one thing in common: they wanted to live. They took each day at a time, each treatment of radiation or chemo-therapy, and looked ahead with a positive and determined attitude that they would beat this disease and not let it slow them down.

Or, who can forget the story Aron Ralston, the hiker who was trapped in a remote canyon in southern Utah when an 800 pound boulder shifted, crushing his arm, and pinning him. After being pinned for six days, Ralston realized that if he wanted to survive, he couldn’t wait for help any longer. Rather than perish in the mountains, he chose to cut off his arm with a pocket knife and hike back out to safety.

All of these people had one thing in common: they set specific goals, and then worked steadily toward them, not giving up when things got hard. They did this because the goals they set were important to them— more important than stopping, resting, or giving in to the physical pain that they were experiencing. Stephen R. Covey put this concept beautifully into words. He said “How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.”

We can apply this to all the different facets of self-mastery. When we really know who we are and who we want to become, we do not let anything sidetrack us.

Referring again to the priesthood manual, there are three things we can do to gain self-mastery.

1. We can know ourselves. By knowing who we are, children of God, we know that we have the potential to do great things. One of my favorite quotes says “imagine what you could do if you knew you could not fail.” This knowledge gives us power to remember that we can’t waste our time on activities or with people that detract us from becoming who we can be. We know our strengths, and we know our weaknesses and, with help, we can strive to overcome those weaknesses and become stronger and more able to do the things that are asked of us.

2. We need to set righteous goals. By doing so, we focus on the wonderful opportunities that lay ahead of us. As a man thinketh, so he becomes. Elder Robert E. Wells stated: “We are the keepers of our minds. We can control our thoughts. Our minds are like computers—garbage in, garbage out. We will be judged for letting garbage in instead of beautiful, uplifting, inspiring thoughts that edify our minds.” When we set righteous goals, we allow those beautiful, uplifting, and inspiring thoughts to enter our minds and kick-out the unworthy thoughts. That is when we start to gain power over the natural man and truly draw closer to our elder brother, Jesus Christ, and our Heavenly Father.

3. We need to rely on the Lord though prayer and scripture study. “It takes faith in Jesus Christ to overcome our temptations and achieve our eternal goals. Regular prayer and scripture study promote this faith and help us gain the strength to overcome our problems” (Priesthood manual) James E. Faust said “I believe reading the scriptures is the best washing machine for unclean or uncontrolled thoughts.”

Of course, this is not a simple process. It is a life-long struggle we will all face. We must remember to do our best, but that we will also have moments of failure. I felt impressed to encourage all of us to forgive ourselves for our short-comings. Satan loves to see us punish ourselves and loves to see us give up once we’ve stumbled and fallen. Oftentimes, we are our own most vocal critics and we can do more to halt our own progression than anyone else we encounter. We need to remember that we have a Savior and a Father in Heaven who love us, and that the price has already been paid for our repentance. We must simply be humble, prayerful, turn to our Savior, and be prepared to forgive ourselves.

We also must remember that we are not restricting ourselves, but liberating ourselves from addictions and unclean thoughts that will surely detract us from becoming the best versions of ourselves. I read a great example of this philosophy in the Gospel Principles book. It says: “Imagine seeing a sign on the seashore that reads: ‘Danger—whirlpool. No swimming allowed here.’ We might think that is a restriction. But is it? We still have many choices. We are free to swim somewhere else. We are free to walk along the beach and pick up seashells. We are free to watch the sunset. We are free to go home. We are also free to ignore the sign and swim in the dangerous place. But once the whirlpool has us in its grasp and we are pulled under, we have very few choices. We can try to escape, or we can call for help… but we may drown.”

As we are entering a new year, we all have resolutions we’ve set to become better people. However, the crowds at the gym will soon fade, the drive-through lines at McDonalds will soon grow, and road rage will soon be on the rise again. I’m not sure all the psychology behind why resolutions do not last long, but I think it’s because we see them as such a definite goal, that the second we slip or stumbled, the resolution is broken and we revert to old habits. I hope that we won’t give up that easily. I pray that we will be able to sit down and spend a little one-on-one time with ourselves a little more often, and ponder the areas in our lives that need improvement. We can then set worthy goals and work towards becoming masters of ourselves.

Remember to make a constant effort to read your scriptures and pray and resist the natural temptations by reaching deep within yourself to persevere. Remember to set smaller goals and then to keep perspective of the greater goals you’re working towards. Remember to be easy on yourself when you slip, and keep going. With diligent effort, help from our Savior and Heavenly Father, and forgiveness from ourselves, we can steadily work to become the people we have the potential to be. We all have greatness in us, and we all can become better people than we are now. I pray that as we continue to set goals and resolutions this year, that each time we look in the mirror we see a bit more of greatness and strength looking back at us.

I know that this is possible through the Plan of Salvation that has been provided to us, and that we can accomplish any righteous goals with the help of our Savior and Father in Heaven and our constant efforts.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.